My Man, Our Marriage, His Fatherhood, & My Gratitude

This week is a big one for my amazing husband. It’s the trifecta of celebrating all the things he holds most dear  — marriage, family, and faith.

We celebrated 28 years of marriage on June 20th. We celebrated 25 years of his fatherhood on June 21st, and we’ll celebrate 50 years of his life on June 25th.

We’re actually on a cruise now with my parents who just celebrated 50 years of marriage, and all the celebrations of all the things have me a bit sentimental (but extremely grateful) for both our heritage and the legacy we hope to leave.

Both our parents have been married for 50+ years, we both turn 50 this summer, and with our oldest married and our youngest engaged, our prayer throughout our 28 years of marriage has remained the same…

Father, it amazes me how you, the Creator of the Universe, care about your creation so intricately (as seen in the details and design of nature and order) and intimately (as seen in your desire for a relationship with us — humanity). You knit us together in our mother’s wombs (Psalm 149:13), know the number of hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7), and long to be in relationship with us (John 14:23). Even though I will never fully comprehend your great love for us, I will forever embrace it and put my faith in the grace that made a way for us to be reconciled to you. We can never fully fathom a love so great, so deep, so wide, and yet, you invite us into it, to be a part of it, and then to live it out in a world so desperate for it. Steve and I long to live it out continually in our family, just as we watched it lived out in our families of origin, and pray our boys and their wives live it out before their children. We long to live and leave a legacy of faith for generations to come. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

The irony of all of this, more evident in this trifecta of celebrations, is that our birth, marriage, and family (of origin, of faith, and in the future) is ordained by God. Just as He set the world in motion, He set set our lives into motion and gave us free will either surrender our lives to Him in accordance to His will or reject Him in accordance with our own.

So much of all of this mirror the tension, the push and pull, and the ultimate realization, at least for me, that our lives, our marriages, and our families are not our own. They are a gift from God, and when we cooperate with Him, His ways, and His truth, we learned to steward them well.

Which leads me to the point of this post. A celebration of my amazing husband, Steve Deller — 50 years on this earth, 28 years in our marriage, and 25 as a dad.

I’m a little more graced based. His convictions are rooted in truth. I’m a feeler and follow my heart. He wants the facts so he can lead with his head.

Truth and Grace.
Facts and Feelings.
Head and Heart.

Seemingly opposite, but beautifully blended by the love that binds us, not blinds us.

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Colossians 3:14, ESV)

Notice the word used in this translation: "harmony," not necessarily “unity” (although “unity” is used in some translations, the original greek word in the text is “sundeo” which means “to bind together” — to make complete or perfect, but not to make equal or the same).

Harmony in music is multi-tonal, richer and fuller, whereas unity or unison, while still beautiful on its own, is monotone, a rather lonely tone, lacking dimension and depth.

Steve and I are well aware of our differences, as well as the differences in every member of our family, and yet those differences are often the very thing that pulls us together, draws us closer, and allows us to learn, grow, and become richer and fuller, more complete as we complement each other, strengthening not only our marriage, but our family, and our faith, too.

We love each other better, because God loved us first and best. Jesus, the son of God, gave His life for us, and in so doing, married seemingly different theological truths to add power and purpose to the trustworthy Good News!

Old Testament law. New Testament grace. The law fulfilled by grace, not replaced by grace. Fulfilled. Made richer and fuller.

It took Jesus, fully God and fully man, to give us full access to God’s Amazing Grace.

Sin separated. Sacrifice emancipated. The ultimate sacrifice that did not end in death but made a way for forgiveness.

Forgiveness that forged new life, a richer and fuller life, earthly abundant now and heavenly eternal forever.

How do opposites like Steve and me find a way to love so beautifully? God's Love. Plain and simple. And yet extremely intricate and complex. Minds can’t always comprehend it, but hearts will always connect to it and through it.

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:14-18, ESV)

I am so grateful for my earthly marriage and the way it serves as a physical representation of that spiritual transformation.

I am so grateful for Steve’s fatherhood, and the way he has led us all, not perfectly, but always with God’s help.

As I celebrate Steve this week, I not only celebrate his life and the unique way God made him, I celebrate the fact that he gave his life to Christ, submitted his will to the Father’s, and seeks to walk in His ways as he has faithfully led me and our family for nearly 3 decades.

Opposites attracting. True love connecting contradictions. True love giving purpose to marriage and parenting convictions.

That’s what love does. That’s what God’s love did for me and you. That’s how we are called to love, too.

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, ESV)

Steve and I have witnessed our marriage grow from being contradictory to complementary, experienced the beauty of harmony, and continue to praise God that is ONLY possible by the power of the Gospel.

This week, I celebrate my man, our marriage, and his fatherhood, and I long to show it in my extreme gratitude.